Journal - Kill and Cry

Tomorrow is the big day.

I'd been so brave. So strong. So numb. For days I'd been struggling to shove my fear aside. I hoped that if I could just ignore my stress until after the surgery I would escape the pain.

And then he kissed me. I started to cry. Sob would be a better word. All of the tension and fear poured out of me. But he didn't stop kissing me. He kissed my crying lips. He kissed my tear stained cheeks. He kissed my neck, my arms, my bulging stomach. He kissed me.

He wasn't afraid of my sorrow and pain. He push aside the brave mask that I was wearing and saw the real me. He saw the me that was a scared little kid who just wanted the big scary monsters to go away. I suppose this is what it means, to cleave together - to share not only the joys of life, but also the pain.

We have had and will have many nights of passion, but I don't know if we will ever have a night so intimate.