Day 3 in the hospital.
Things that make me smile:
Jeffrey getting to discover how cuddly Zion is after his afternoon nap, now that I'm not home to monopolize them.
My OB resident, who's last name I will try to learn but who I only think of a Virginia. She is on this rotation for 9 weeks, so I know she will be here through my journey. As an OB resident physician, I see her as more of a knowledgable friend than a distant, authoratative doctor. I suppose I like her partly because so many of the people that I care about and who care about me have worn that white coat.
Knowing that friends spread across the country are praying for me, my baby, and my family. And knowing that the God who hears those prayers is good, powerful, and wise.
The willingness of old friends, sisters, and my mother-in-law to stop their owns lives to fly across the country to take care of my kids.
Getting to up my cool mom status by giving my kids rides in my wheel chair.
Appreciating the irony of switching roles from a stroller pusher to sitting back and letting Zion and Elise push me in my grown-up stroller.
Realizing that I'm here because of the blessing of another precious child growing in me, and not because I'm seriously ill. I can't think of a more positive reason to be layed up in the hospital for months.
Things that make me sad:
Thinking of Tatu coming too early.
Thinking of Elise and Zion having "milky snuggle" time without me.
The view out my window - it is about 30 feet of gravel and then a windowless building.
The IV port in my arm. It hurts, gets caught on things, and just reminds me why I'm here - because I might suddenly gush blood and endanger my child so much that he is safer on the outside, even at only 28 weeks.
Knowing that I can't keep my baby boy safe.
Next time I need to start with the sads and end with the smiles. So here is one smile to end on.
Things that make me smile . . .
The pictures in my room of my family, and my husband who gathered them off of the walls at home and brought them to me without me even having to ask. Likewise the peanut butter M&Ms he brought me make me smile and realize how extremely blessed I am to have him holding our little world together while I take care of me and our little baby.
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I love peanut butter m & m's too. My favorite! I'm going to teach you how to crochet that baby blanket. I'm gonna pawn my kids off on someone and come down there one of these days for sure!
ReplyDeleteI know how hard bed rest is, and I didn't even have to be in the hospital. It is so hard to be away from your children (child, in my case). But you do what you have to do to protect that precious baby.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you will not be able to have 4 children as you had dreamed. I am very grateful to hear his heart is healthy. Having 2 boys with heart defects makes me realize what a miracle it is to have heart healthy children.
You continue to be in our prayers. Take care of yourself!
Carey & Greg McCulloch
what a fun reversal, being pushed in the chair instead of pushing the stroller :-)
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