Freedoms Gained and Lost

These days when the doctors round in the morning, I don't even ask about my condition, or what to expect in the future. Those answers have already been given, and haven't changed.

For the last two mornings my question has only been this:

"What exactly are my restrictions?"

I am on modified bedrest. But what exactly does that mean?

The first 2 days, that meant I was allowed to walk around in my room, but must be wheeled everywhere else. Jeffrey, the kids and I went on long walks/rides around the hospital. We zoomed up and down in the glass elevators. We ate in the courtyard outside. But most of the day, when my hubby wasn't here to spring me from my room, I was stuck.

Yesterday, day 3, modified bedrest meant that I could walk "less than 30 minutes". Fantastic! I was now allowed to walk the 5 minutes down to lobby all by myself. I read books and chatted on the phone while looking at flower gardens and surrounded by the life and energy of other people.

Today, day 4, modified bedrest means that can walk some, and rest a lot. That is not too different than last week. But I have a new attending in charge of me this week. And he threw in a big, new restriction on top of "modified bedrest". I am not allowed to leave the OB unit for more than 15 minutes at a time, even if I have another adult with me. Not even with my physician husband - believe me, I tried to play that card.

Yikes! No more wheels around the hospital. No more hanging out near windows that look at more than a wall. No chance to play with the kids over in the fun lobby of the Childrens' hospital. Now I really am trapped here.

And I can't even argue. I mean, I suppose I could, but his reasoning is this: I need to be within minutes of an OR just in case I start to gush blood and endanger my life, and that of my baby.

Now how can I argue with that?

So I'm reluctantly waving goodbye to another precious piece of freedom.