I've been thinking a lot lately about hope.
Through out the course of this pregnancy, we have hoped for many things.
Hope that my placenta previa would go away.
Hope that I wouldn't develop placenta accreta.
Hope that I wouldn't be put on bedrest.
Hope that I wouldn't bleed.
Hope that I wouldn't be hospitalized.
Hope that my uterus could be spared.
In each case, our hope has been smashed and denied.
Now we hope that I won't hemorrhage. Hope that Wyatt will stay in the womb long enough. Hope that he will be healthy. Hope that my surgery will go well.
As you can see, I don't have a great history for getting what I've hoped for. So putting my hope in good outcomes is a shaky, scary thing.
But while I do hope for good outcomes, my hope doesn't rest in good outcomes.
Psalms 25:3, "No one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame."
My hope is in God. My hope rests in the one who sacrificed his son so my kids' future has no limit outside of this earth. My hope rests in a God who will carry me, whatever the outcome of this scary pregnancy. My hope doesn't rest in getting the healthy little baby that I used to expect. My hope is simply in the Lord.
So even if my remaining hopes are dashed - my hope, my faith, and my future are secure. And that is something in which my hope can really rest.
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Well said, Brooke. I am praying, praying, praying & thinking of you often. Love you.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. Thank you for your daily updates! Can't wait to see you!!
ReplyDeleteBrooke, you have no idea how much I can relate to your post. We hoped and prayed for a healthy baby and we did not get that. However, we placed our hope, faith and trust in God and knew that regardless of the outcome, he would be there for us and we would make it through. That being said, it doesn't always make what you're going through easy. My prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for your blog. It helps us know what to pray for specifically.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words, Brooke!
ReplyDeleteBrooke, I love you so much. Thank you for sharing your feelings. It helps the distance not seem so vast. Daddy and I are having a hard time not making everything right for you like we used to when you were little. Fortunately God is much more powerful than us parents :-)
ReplyDeleteMom